Much Delayed

Autumn has a way of causing nostalgia flare-ups for me. Despite the fact that, like every other Fall I've experienced in my adolescent and adult life, I'm on an academic campus running around in scarves and coats attempting to stay on top of my schedule, this feels wildly different.

It is different. I'm no longer a student. I'm a teacher.

It still sounds strange to say that, despite the fact that I've been here for two months, wearing my name tag that proudly declares me "Ms. Jackson" on a daily basis. I still feel young and uncertain. Nervous. Full of wanderlust. Nostalgic.

Drawers and shelves in my old bedroom in my parent's house hold many a started and quickly abandoned journal. I grow bored and unsatisfied very quickly, I'm afraid. I'm hoping that the more public nature of a blog with possible readers will shame me into continuing to document this year. I've been told I'll learn many new (and generally unexpected things) and that I'd better write them down so that I don't miss them as they happen.

What have I learnt so far?

- Boarding school education is so wildly different than public school education. The kids here are at once much more independent than I was as a high schooler, but infinitely more confined. They'll never know the joys of a snow day spent watching movies at a friend's house, or driving around late at night, holding hands with a boy, or trying to transform the truly and unfortunately reliable looks of the gym into a pirate ship or a casino or a beach for Prom or Homecoming, because every minute of every day is scheduled and supervised, literally right down to the socks they're allowed to wear. I suppose I missed out on things (mainly academic in nature) by not attending boarding school, but I don't feel like I missed out on any opportunities because of it.

- All that said, the boarding school block schedule is fantastic. I teach at 8:30AM twice a week, and beyond that never have to be anywhere before noon.

- Living in two motel rooms will be a good story one day. I hope.

- Dining Hall food does not improve with age.

- The biggest issue I have with teaching has everything to do with school politics and nothing to do with the students or the classroom.

My age and newness to this school and town (population: 1200) occasionally makes me feel like I'm living in a fish bowl, with every action and inaction being carefully scrutinzed, discussed, and judged by various members of the community. I'm hoping that the longer I'm here without incident the more I'll feel like an insider and less the new dance teacher with (fill in the blank: a tattoo, a swearing problem, innappropriate dining hall attire, cats, etc.) Time will tell.